Hearing God in everyday places

A lot of people tend to believe that God's voice can be heard only by going to church and listening to a sermon... or they think that it's when they pray and in the silence they will somehow hear God. I think it's definitely true that we can hear God in those ways, especially when we keep immersed in His Word and can distinguish if we are really hearing Him. However, lately I've been hearing God in everyday places, such as school and the mall.

What do I mean by hearing God's voice? I don't really hear it audibly but it's just from different things that I experience/notice/see/hear that kind of hits me, and makes me think about life and truth. Things that are very profound and very meaningful, that I know God would say.

Let's take a look at a few...

1.) WELL BEHAVED GIRLS ARE FORGOTTEN (ONLY)

I wish I could show you the ad but it's not online as far as I have found (and I don't want to waste time searching for it). But if you cross the bridge btw STC bus station to STC mall, you will see a big fat long sign saying exactly that. I don't really see how it connects to the jean brand (only), because they aren't scanty jeans as far as I know. And the girls were not scanty like the GUESS ads.

Maybe it was only to attract attention but it sends off a HORRIBLE message to kids/tweens who don't know any better. Well behaved girls are forgotten? I was trying to see what that would mean. In one sense, well behaved girls CAN be forgotten if they are just well behaved but really quiet and have no friends. I can see that happening. That would be sad. But not all well behaved girls are forgotten, in fact, if they are very well behaved and make a positive difference in this world, they would be remembered.

OR even if they are not remembered, God will remember. They will not be forgotten, even if they have no friends, because God will remember and try to reach out to them.

I also thought about whether bad girls are forgotten. I think bad girls attract attention, of course. I mean, look at the news, if you kill someone, you will get attention. At the same time, even if it's not as serious as murder, bad girls attract attention because of the way they act. However, is it worth it? Probably not. They are just creating a bad reputation for themselves and it might not end well at all.

I think this ad creates confusion in girls. Especially those girls who want to be popular. The Bad Girl image is becoming more and more popular, even I myself am tempted to dress like a sexy librarian (I'm serious! I do feel tempted) And girls who are quiet or considered non-beautiful want to be noticed. So they end up becoming bad girls. This is society going DOWN, guys/girls. Why can't people value virtue anymore?

So that was God giving me a truth about society and our girls. And myself as well, not to fall into the advertisement's trap.

2) WANTING PERFECTION = DYING

My prof from Fantasy Literature told our class this statement. She said it in passing as we were discussing a story. And she was referencing Adam and Eve, how when they ate the fruit, they wanted to be perfect so they ended up "dying" spiritually, having to be thrown out of the garden.

For me, this statement rings true because I often want to be perfect, whether in appearance, doing tasks, serving God, or whatever. And it stresses me out. And stress actually does make your life shorter. So I was reminded again that I should not want perfection. Even though the Bible says to try to become more like God, it is trying to say we should try to follow God. Not BE God or be a perfect person.

The prof actually said something else that was really nice and true. She pointed out that in the story, beauty is imperfect. If something is too perfect, it may not even be beautiful cuz then it would look fake. Isn't that so true? How many of those ppl out there have done plastic surgery on their face and you wish they didn't do it? And haven't you ever seen an elderly lady with a beautiful smile that just brightens up your heart?

And this also applies to personality. If someone had a perfect personality, never made any mistakes, it would actually be off-putting. But if they are a bit silly and a bit clumsy, or say something stupid, it actually makes you laugh and appreciate the person cuz it's just so funny or you accept them for who they are.

3) IF YOU AREN'T SUFFERING, U AIN'T DOIN' IT RIGHT.

Wow. What a statement, right? But let's put it in context. My other prof said this as we were discussing a book called "Pilgrim's Progress". It's a Christian novel but it also applies to everyone, not just Christians. In this book, the main character struggles through a lot of problems just to get to this place called the Celestial City. On his journey there, he meets a lot of people that guide the way for him and help him through troubles.

This book is an allegory for life. And the prof said that Christians are SUPPOSED to suffer a lot, according to this book, and if you are not suffering, something is wrong. For me this was an encouragement because I have been suffering quite a bit and if this is a sign that I'm on the right track, then praise God! I am not suffering for no reason.

4) UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

Today I was having lunch with a dear friend and we were talking about my latest thoughts/problems. I told him that I was bouncing from one extreme to the other, basically one extreme being obsessed with this one guy and the other extreme being I'm only his friend but then I don't know what to do with my feelings and those are bouncing around also.

I also was struggling with the question, how do you know you really love someone?

My friend is very wise, I think. He helped me to see that I need a balance. On one hand, we can like the qualities of a person. I can list out a whole lot of qualities that I love in this guy, and qualities are important to a certain extent so that I don't have a clashing relationship with someone or nothing to talk about with that person or a guy who will treat me badly...

HOWEVER, on the other hand, we cannot just love the person because of their qualities. Unconditional love is when you love that person because you just love them, and if you take away the qualities, you will still love them. For me, I think that I've been bouncing up and down a bit and not really realizing that I need both.

Qualities of a person may fade over time. Are you still going to love them? If you do, then it is real love. This isn't just for romantic love either, this is also for friendships. And a person is more than their qualities. If you focus too much on the qualities, you lose sight of the whole person that they are.

Another thing is time. True love will last through time. I think for me I often want to give up because time passes kind of either too slow or too fast for me. In the case of loving Sam it seems to be passing too slow sometimes. And my wise friend today helped me with figuring out that my EXPECTATIONS are something that is causing me pain.

Due to the fact that I EXPECT initiative and equal effort in keeping in touch or whatever, I am actually just hurting myself. For my friend, he does not have ANY expectations when he enters into a relationship/friendship. It is hard to do, but it kind of helps... but it will hurt.

I told my friend I wish I could be like him and learned more about myself and the nature of relationships before I had any boyfriends. But he said, "it depends if you are strong enough". Come to think about it, it is very true. Maybe if I hadn't gone through 5 breakups, I would not be strong enough as I am now. I am still not very strong, but strong in the sense that I can handle waiting on love and handle being single.

Because of these realizations I actually cried a bit but you don't need to worry, I had to. I had to let those tears out. The frustration of not being able to define a friendship/relationship was definitely taking a toll on me. As I said to my friend, I have contemplated cutting off all communication because then I thought it would be easier. But then that would be mean and not giving Sam a chance to know me better... even if it means I don't really get to know him better as quickly as I think he is getting to know me.

Expectations. That's what is bothering me.

I tried to think about this question as I was going home today. Do I really love Sam? My friend had said that you would know in ways that are hard to describe. For sure, I liked the qualities that Sam has. And there are some qualities that I don't like, and Sam knows that. I told Sam that I still loved him anyway, even with his faults, and that I would be glad to help him work on those qualities that aren't quite there yet.

But now that I think of it, I have another question. What if he is never able to work on those qualities I don't like, will I still love him? Maybe I will have to figure that out. I think probably I would still love him but I might have a hard time being his wife for like 55 years and live with the things I don't like. I don't know. I don't have the answer yet...

Another mind-boggling thing is, do I love Sam for just who he is? I told Sam that I did, but now, because he seems so far away and out of touch, I feel like I don't know anymore. I would have to spend more time with him to know. Or do I? As you can see, I'm very confused. But I would say without a doubt, that I truly love Sam. I can tell you that... because...

when I went to Food Basics today, I really missed Sam. And when I was buying shampoo, I made sure it didn't have any scents (he's allergic). I did that without even thinking that maybe he wouldn't even see me or have the chance to smell it anyways...

and because... I think of him every day. When I start thinking about other boys, I feel like I am being unfaithful, even though Sam is not my boyfriend. And when I am sitting in Fantasy Lit class, I think about what Sam would say, how he would have liked this or that story. And as I am writing this, I feel some tears come to my eyes.

because I always wish I could see him. And I know that when I see him, whatever silly or immature thing he does I will not mind. I will just hug him and tell him I really really missed him. And I know that if I had the chance, I would sit at his sermon and listen and smile. And I would be there to support him, if I could.

because if I saw him talking or being with any other girl, I would be a bit jealous. Just a bit. And because whenever I see a sign on Delburn Street with the name "Sam Santino" for a house on sale, I think of him.

So yeah... maybe I love Sam a lot, but I am just doubting myself.