Do your dreams reveal the real you?

Over the past few weeks, I've been really excited because this guy I really like (or supposedly, I like him) is coming to town. His name is Andrew Chao. He's from Montreal, and in fact, he just arrived in Toronto just two hours or so ago. I'm going to be meeting up with him tomorrow for dinner with cell group people.

Andrew has all the qualities that I am looking for. But like Thuy said, I'm just attracted to his qualities right now, and I'm setting myself up for unrequited love because I barely know this guy in real life, I have mostly just talked to him through email or msn, and I only saw him 2 times in real life in the past. This week would be my third time seeing him. And this guy shows no indication of interest towards me, other than as a friend.

But supposedly, I like him a lot right now.

The weird thing is, lately I've been having these dreams... I had a dream of me and Adrian getting back together, as if nothing happened and we still had a healthy relationship. That was quite an elaborate dream.

Then later on, I had a dream about Sam, about me and Sam getting back together and having lots of fun together. The following day, I had another dream and Sam was in it, although, we were not together this time.

Then, the day after that, I had a dream about Jonathan Wong. It wasn't a super romantic dream but we were doing things together and I don't remember exactly but I think in the dream I had an interest in him.

So you see, I dreamed about three guys I used to like, and Andrew wasn't in any of these dreams, not even having a small part to play in the dreams. Does that mean that I don't really like Andrew after all?

I've been asking God to show me whether Andrew is the one. And yet I don't think I'm ready to hear His answer. I even told God, "God, I am not ready to hear your answer"... because I'm afraid the answer is a no.

I already have a feeling that maybe Andrew is not the one after all. Maybe tomorrow I should just act normal and be his friend and not expect anything more. Maybe he and I are not a good match after all, even with all his great qualities. I don't even know how he acts in real life around other friends other than Peggy, cuz the last times I hung out with him it was with Peggy. What if he acts different around non-church people? I wouldn't know.

Plus, he hasn't shown any interest in me.

I have two theories. Either my dreams were a way for my brain to dump out old relationships and get ready for a new one, or maybe the dreams showed that I don't like Andrew after all, that I like the others more.

Great studying music... i love this movie!!!!

A heart-melting song during my break from studying...

Happy Valentine's Day to all my friends. I love you and God does too!!!!

Let's walk this life together! :)

This song reminds me of beautiful summer days

This girl sings well!

I love this worship song!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-NeKnC4WXCs

Why am I sad?

Yesterday was Sam's birthday. I didn't realize it until today, when I went on his facebook page. Of course I wrote "Happy Belated Birthday" but I felt really bad for forgetting his birthday. Truth is, I knew his birthday was Feb. 1st, but for some reason yesterday it just didn't click in that it was Feb. 1st, Sam's birthday.

I was probably too preoccupied with all the stuff I had to do and also this newfound guy named Andrew. So I right now I feel bad that I didn't remember Sam's birthday, esp. since this was a guy I supposedly had a deep connection with in past months.

Am I just a superficial person? Jumping from guy to guy? After one guy has "expired" I just jump onto a new one? Am I using guys just so that I have something to dream about, something to hold on to? Am I wasting my time??

Part of me really wished Sam and I could have worked out. Right now, this Andrew guy isn't even that interested in me as far as I know. And sometimes I still think of Adrian, even yesterday when I bought something from Taco Bell (he loves tacos). I guess I still have a lot to figure out.

Everyone longs for intimacy. But sometimes it's better to seek an appropriate type of intimacy amongst friends, esp. when you are not ready for a relationship. I know I am not ready. I'm still not over Adrian, that's the truth. I might be over Sam though, and this Andrew thing is definitely wasting a lot of my time.

Un autre gars ...

Ces jours-là je trouve que je vais sur msn plus qu'avant pour chercher ou pour attendre un gars qui s'appelle Andrew Chao. C'est plutôt pathétique mais je ne peux pas m'empêcher de le faire.

Actuellement il est maintenant sur msn mais je suis trop gênée ou embarrassée, je ne veux pas initier la conversation. Ce gars est le gars "parfait" pour moi selon mes critères, mais encore une fois je ne pense pas qu'il m'aime.

En fait, c'est une situation plutôt stupide parce que j'ai commencé à aimer ce gars il y a quelques mois mais je sautais de lui à d'autres garçons (back and forth) et maintenant il pense que je ne l'aime pas. (parce que je lui ai dit)

Ugh c'est une situation un peu bizarre...