Today, I spent time with my family plus my grandma. It was a good time eating dim sum and doing a bit of chinese shopping. It was interesting seeing three ginseng stores in the same area of the same mall compete against each other in business by trying to convince my grandma to buy more and more herbs or chinese medicinal ingredients at low prices. Wow.
I was a bit emotional because last night I didn't sleep but I texted Chris and he listened, and my sister also cheered me up by telling me random things. When I got home I spent time watching another movie, this one about marriage and weddings (the main character was a wedding planner) but for some reason I wasn't sad I was just happy to watch the movie.
I signed up for a Hip hop dance class downtown (finally!) and it was only 22 dollars on Groupon for 16 classes! Amazing! I'm excited to get back into dancing. Must exercise more! Tomorrow I plan on going to the gym for the Body Pump class to pump some iron.
Overall it was a good time with family, a rare time. Thanks God for the wonderful day. :)
Monday, May 12, 2014
Hilarious movie called "Just Friends"
I found this hilarious movie while thinking about me and Chris being "just friends". Basically I was thinking about how I could get advice or insight on me and him being "just friends", so I searched "just friends" in the Youtube search box... guess what, as fate would have it, or maybe God just has a sense of humor, the first thing that popped up was this movie "Just Friends" (2005)!
I watched the whole thing and I encourage you all to watch it, it's hilarious and it's basically about a guy named Chris who wants to stop being "just friends" with his best girl friend from high school. Funny enough, just like Chris Ko, the Chris in this movie also drives a nice car, plays ice hockey, and goes to church to try to get his girl back (although Chris Ko did not do it in the exact same way that Chris in the movie did). If this movie is not a sign from God, that's OK cuz I got a really good laugh out of it. :P hahaha all my stress is gone now! YES WATCH THIS MOVIE GUYS
I watched the whole thing and I encourage you all to watch it, it's hilarious and it's basically about a guy named Chris who wants to stop being "just friends" with his best girl friend from high school. Funny enough, just like Chris Ko, the Chris in this movie also drives a nice car, plays ice hockey, and goes to church to try to get his girl back (although Chris Ko did not do it in the exact same way that Chris in the movie did). If this movie is not a sign from God, that's OK cuz I got a really good laugh out of it. :P hahaha all my stress is gone now! YES WATCH THIS MOVIE GUYS
Friday, May 9, 2014
So much has happened... time for reflection and update!
Hello dear friends,
I haven't really updated and there was so much going on in the past three weeks. All you need to know is briefly: Golda and I are still friends, just more distant in terms of my boundaries cuz I can't trust her with any personal information anymore... Chris and I are friends but we are hoping to date again in the future if it's God's plan and timing... School ended and I think I did well on my last essay, hopefully... I am trying to be healthier now, still kind of unmotivated sometimes and sleeping too much but overall healthier mentally and physically.
Over the past four months at Golda's house, I guess I did a lot of negative learning. What I mean by negative learning is that I had to learn things the hard way. I saw how Golda treated me and I had to learn to set boundaries so I wouldn't be abused, and I saw how Golda treated her parents and I felt sorry for the way I treated my parents. Seeing my counselor every week helped and in the end, Golda only changed for the better a little bit, spiritually, but she is still not mentally well and it should not be my responsibility, she should take charge and really seek a professional counselor.
Speaking of my counselor, Karen, she has taught me so much. I am still working on it but I have become more assertive, much less suicidal, more confident, and overall more stable because of her. I learned to grieve out and talk out all my feelings, and to the right people. I learned to take care of myself better (but still learning to love myself, it's hard).
Why do I find it hard to love myself? I guess I grew up with the wrong idea that I had to put everybody else first. I thought it was most important to make others happy, but then again I did it so selflessly that I ended up being so sad myself, using all my time to serve others and no time to do things I liked.
Soon enough, my life revolved around other people. I wouldn't have a reason to live if it weren't for making others happy or helping people find God. But that is wrong, because even if I was paralyzed and couldn't talk, God still loves me and I can live on because God loves me. However, even though I knew that as a concept, practically I thought I was useless unless I do something productive with my life, leading me to being workaholic.
Being workaholic goes hand in hand with burnout and later on trying to avoid work. So in the end, if God is not my motivator and if I do not dwell in God's love and truth, I will have a warped view of my life and live for the wrong reasons and become emotionally unwell.
I saw this on facebook today and just wanted to share:
Attacks from the enemy reveals that he fully believes you are capable of obtaining your goal. They would not waste their ammunition, time, finances and effort if they thought your dreams or goals were impossible. "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me" (phil 4:13). Angels are continuously ready to minister to you at the conclusion of a crisis. so don't give up! If your enemy believes in your future, so should you!!
This quote applies to me because this week, especially today, I felt the enemy attacking in different ways. But God is good, He pulled me back up and helped me have motivation to rise again from the darkness. :)
I'll leave it there for now. Thanks for reading. :) and for all your support.
I haven't really updated and there was so much going on in the past three weeks. All you need to know is briefly: Golda and I are still friends, just more distant in terms of my boundaries cuz I can't trust her with any personal information anymore... Chris and I are friends but we are hoping to date again in the future if it's God's plan and timing... School ended and I think I did well on my last essay, hopefully... I am trying to be healthier now, still kind of unmotivated sometimes and sleeping too much but overall healthier mentally and physically.
Over the past four months at Golda's house, I guess I did a lot of negative learning. What I mean by negative learning is that I had to learn things the hard way. I saw how Golda treated me and I had to learn to set boundaries so I wouldn't be abused, and I saw how Golda treated her parents and I felt sorry for the way I treated my parents. Seeing my counselor every week helped and in the end, Golda only changed for the better a little bit, spiritually, but she is still not mentally well and it should not be my responsibility, she should take charge and really seek a professional counselor.
Speaking of my counselor, Karen, she has taught me so much. I am still working on it but I have become more assertive, much less suicidal, more confident, and overall more stable because of her. I learned to grieve out and talk out all my feelings, and to the right people. I learned to take care of myself better (but still learning to love myself, it's hard).
Why do I find it hard to love myself? I guess I grew up with the wrong idea that I had to put everybody else first. I thought it was most important to make others happy, but then again I did it so selflessly that I ended up being so sad myself, using all my time to serve others and no time to do things I liked.
Soon enough, my life revolved around other people. I wouldn't have a reason to live if it weren't for making others happy or helping people find God. But that is wrong, because even if I was paralyzed and couldn't talk, God still loves me and I can live on because God loves me. However, even though I knew that as a concept, practically I thought I was useless unless I do something productive with my life, leading me to being workaholic.
Being workaholic goes hand in hand with burnout and later on trying to avoid work. So in the end, if God is not my motivator and if I do not dwell in God's love and truth, I will have a warped view of my life and live for the wrong reasons and become emotionally unwell.
I saw this on facebook today and just wanted to share:
Attacks from the enemy reveals that he fully believes you are capable of obtaining your goal. They would not waste their ammunition, time, finances and effort if they thought your dreams or goals were impossible. "I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me" (phil 4:13). Angels are continuously ready to minister to you at the conclusion of a crisis. so don't give up! If your enemy believes in your future, so should you!!
This quote applies to me because this week, especially today, I felt the enemy attacking in different ways. But God is good, He pulled me back up and helped me have motivation to rise again from the darkness. :)
I'll leave it there for now. Thanks for reading. :) and for all your support.
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