Happy again!!!

Dear all,

thanks for all those who were praying and thinking of me... I'm sorry if I worried you guys in the last few posts. I tend to be very open with my feelings, sometimes it just comes out so raw it worries people. But yeah, I feel a WHOLE lot better now. And I know this peace will stay if I keep looking on the bright side and keep finding peace in God's word.

It's not a coincidence that after I prayed that prayer last post, shared everything I had on my heart, poured it all out, and I randomly opened up my Bible to John chapter 14 and 15 that I found this satisfaction and peace and joy that I cannot cannot explain. Yes, run on sentence.

In any case, here is what I read:

^{John 14: 27}
Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Just before I read the Bible I found out with the help of a friend that I had trouble forgiving myself, because I have trouble believing that such a Holy God would see me as a completely blank slate. I see this verse as a reminder that God does not see me as the world does. He gives peace to me, He gives forgiveness to me as no one else will. And from this promise I can learn to see myself as completely forgiven, and be able to keep moving on.

Also, my heart is often troubled or afraid. Somehow when I read this verse it was as if Jesus was speaking to me directly, telling me I should not be afraid. I actually felt very comforted...

Jesus continues:

John 15

The Vine and the Branches

¹"I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ²He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. ³You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. ⁴Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

⁵"I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. ⁸This is to my Father's glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

⁹"As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. ¹⁰If you obey my commands, you will remain in my love, just as I have obeyed my Father's commands and remain in his love. ¹¹I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. ¹²My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. ¹³Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. ¹⁴You are my friends if you do what I command. ¹⁵I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. ¹⁶You did not choose me, but I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name. ¹⁷This is my command: Love each other.

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Do you feel this Bible passage speaking to you? God speaks to everyone differently, maybe He will speak to you through a friend, when you're flipping through the Bible, or with music. In any case, He spoke to me through this passage yesterday.

I feel joy, peace, and love after reading this. I know I'm forgiven because of the word spoken to me... I'm so glad I found this! The stressful time is only a time of pruning. I will soon bear much fruit if I continue to remain in Him and love others :D And I trust that as I delight in the Lord, Jesus will grant my deepest desires... and He alone knows them.

<3 hehehe :D THANK YOU GOD!!!!