Why on my blog at 2:25am???

I just had the funniest facebook conversation with Matthieu in Quebec, and I guess after that I wanted to listen to David Archuleta (singer), esp. one particular song over and over again... cuz I found that this song expressed what's going on between me and Sam so clearly. It was an encouraging song, a hopeful song, and a song that shows the reality as well. I will post it someday...

But anyway this is something I was thinking about. What is a relationship without struggle? I was thinking, would I marry anyone who wasn't there for me during rough times? Of course not! It's almost outrageous! Well, im not even talking about ppl who werent there for you because they were a bad friend or bad boyfriend. I'm talking about those relationships that were all happy with no fights and no problems to support each other in.

For some reason, I think struggles bring us closer together, and I would NOT want to marry anyone unless I have struggled through a whole ton of crap with them. And this is what I was thinking bout.... cuz I haven't seen Sam in almost 2 months... and when I do talk with him, it IS a big struggle most of the time. Either I'm struggling with emotions or he is struggling with something, or we are both confused about stuff or whatever.

And the first time after almost 2 months that im going to see Sam is at a funeral (or at least, he told me he wanted to be there) for our mutual friend's father (God bless his soul) on Saturday. Not really a happy place to see each other, and usually you aren't going to talk and laugh when you see ppl at a funeral. And I was like, wow, what a way to see Sam again. I will be crying. But you know what, this is life. In the future, in fact, Sam is going to see a lot of funerals as a pastor. Me too. A lot of weddings and baptisms too of course, but funerals is part of the mix when you are pastor...

So I guess I shouldn't be so wow about this, I mean, if I see Sam at the funeral it's part of walking this journey of life together with church family and friends. I can't ask for more...

I can be reassured that Sam will still think I'm pretty. He just said I'm pretty-ER if I smile :) I guess its ok to be ugly sometimes :( cuz these days my face is stiff from coughing... cant smile very well!

Praying for Jess and her family... God bless Uncle Laurence's soul...