A Weird Night

Yesterday night I kept on waking up at random times in the night. When I was asleep, I dreamed up a big scary epic story about UTSC, SCSU, the subway, my psychiatrist, my friends, and me being a spy. The story was so complicated... it was a "sequel" to another dream I had before, or so this dream told me. Maybe I dreamed up the idea that it was a sequel... but anyways the first dream (if it ever existed) happened "one year before" last night's dream...

In this "last year's dream" I was suspecting that the SCSU was a conspiracy and that there were spies and/or terrorists who wanted to kill people undercover. I was the only one aware of it and was too scared to tell anyone except my psychiatrist, who apparently believed me. But I didn't do anything about it.

This year, though, I was walking around UTSC and it was a Carnival day, and people were planning to go on a special trip to Ecuador with SCSU. I had signed up to go to this trip too, but since I suspected something wrong about it, I decided to waste my ticket and just not go. Somehow I ended up in the subway chasing down a spy instead, and trying not to get killed because they knew I was a spy opposed to them. Then somehow I learned that my friend Valerie and this other girl was part of their gang, and they were chasing me, so what I did was I flung them out along with their course readings far away. But they didn't get hurt, they just got flung away.

I talked to my psychiatrist again and this time I'm not sure if he believed me. But soon after, the dream was over.

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It was scary, you know. And the weird thing about this dream is, there were aspects of it that seemed like it could be what a person with mental disorder would believe even in real life. Like I mean, in real life, if I didn't have my medication, I could get delusions and believe that people were after me, or have a belief that there is some conspiracy going on. The psychiatrist was in my dream too. So the analytical question you could ask could be... Is this a dream of a person with a psychological disorder experiencing a world distorted by their mind? Or is this a dream of a "normal" person experiencing a real conspiracy and a world actually distorted?

I couldn't focus on homework last night because when my mom came home I learned that my old church mentor was in the hospital. I have no idea what's going on, but I really hope she's going to be okay. Aaron happened to be online so I talked to him both online and on the phone. He's a good friend. Even though I only knew him for like 2 weeks. He's going to become a social worker and I think that really suits him and his personality. I think he will make a big difference in this world.

I feel like friendship is like a circle. When I am in need, someone will be there, and when they are in need, someone will be there. Eventually it all becomes a circle where everybody helps each other at different times of need. Everyone will give love and care at some point, and everyone will receive love and care at some point.