Two Thoughts Before Sleepytime

At work today I checked my email and found out that Choy Bak (I mentioned this faithful man in a previous blog post)'s funeral is tomorrow. I only found out today so I was thinking to myself if I should go or not... I wanted to go because I respected him, but then I thought... what would Choy Bak want me to do? Because I already signed up for a Christian conference to go to tomorrow (www.eighthletter.com) so if I go to the funeral, I will miss half of the conference...

I decided that I would go to the conference, because I think that's what Choy Bak would want me to do. He would want me to carry on the fire by equipping myself with God's Word. Of course, I'm not saying we should skip out on all people's funerals. It's just in this case, for myself, I believe that's what Choy Bak would want me to do.

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I went to the first part of the Eighth Letter Conference today (in the evening) with Karl Hui. Karl was my friend ever since grade 9. It's been a long time. Such a long time that I often take him for granted or treat him as if he's not worthy or something. I know, it's bad. I realize that and I try to stop making fun/speaking to him in a negative tone... he's just like family, and I start to treat him badly. Isn't that sad???

Anyway, since I'm aware of it I try not to do that anymore. Even though I'm sometimes mean to Karl, he still sees me as an inspiring person. This makes me feel even more grateful for Karl and very thankful that he is a forgiving and pure type of guy.

I have a lot to say about Karl. First of all, the reason why I am writing about him is because he is leaving for California this Wednesday. He's going there for a job interview, and if he gets the job, he will stay there for a long time. So today might be the last time I see him for a very long time, depending on how things go. It finally hit me as we were walking together that this brother who has walked with me through about 7 years of my life is possibly going to go to the other side of the continent for who knows how long. It finally hit me that this could be the last time I could talk to him face to face for a long time. That I could give him a hug and say a prayer for him in person.

And Karl has been more than a brother to me. He's been an inspiration. This God-filled guy is easy to overlook as strange or awkward, but I think that his love for Christ says it all. He practically never has an impure motive and is always ready to help and listen and offer prayers.

As much as he thinks I'm an inspiration, I must say that without Karl, I don't think I'd be as much an inspiration, really. He's so humble and he never holds on to grudges. You can say that he is definitely one of the strongest Christian guys out there. Even with his frail body.

And as we were going home after the conference session, I remember back in gr. 10 he was at my house one time, and back then we liked each other but decided to make a "purity covenant" and wait for God to tell us whether to date or not. I think I was so wise back then. I should learn from the young me. And so yeah, I wrote up a purity covenant so that Karl would not be able to touch/hug me, and we set guidelines so that we wouldn't me at my house alone together. So that we wouldn't be tempted to fool around. He was very happy to sign that covenant with me.

And that's what made our friendship so great over the past few years. It was not tainted by any boyfriend/girlfriend mistakes. And as I talked to Karl about it in the car going home, he said he was very glad he signed that covenant. Because I don't think he was meant for me after all. I don't think I'd be able to mesh well with his personality if I were to be his wife. So the covenant protected us for the future.

And I don't know why I didn't make a covenant with guys after. I must have really thought they were meant for me. But this type of thing we cannot be sure right? Only time can tell whether someone is right for you or not. And so in the future, I think I will learn from the old me, and not give my heart/body/mind away so fast. It's always better to wait... Love is patient, right?

I know, it's so hard to do. But it was worth it. I must admit, it was weird at first when Karl and I couldn't hug according to the covenant. Or even him touching my shoulder. It was awkward but it was the right thing. Strange huh? We were so counter-cultural.

It's strange and difficult, but not impossible. :) haha and of course nothing is impossible with God.

Thanks, Karl. I wish you all the best in California... wish I could go someday!!!