Suddenly sad

Maybe the hyper is wearing off (I guess you could consider me hyper for the past two weeks because I always slept late because I had too much energy and woke up early without feeling tired).  I'm starting to be sad, especially because I am starting to doubt the whole Jane and Finch thing.  Gloria doesn't really have the money to move out and Selena who was my backup roommate decided she wants to go out of town for schooling.

So here I am left alone with my sister moving out in early August and I will be stuck with my parents still not moving on like I wanted to.  Unless I move out on my own and then I would have to be with roommates that I don't even know.  Peggy offered to room with me but I don't like her habits so I can't.

I miss Christos, I wish I could tell him everything that is going on. I'm sure he would have supported me.  Tears come to my eyes as I write this.  Jen is moving on, she has a boyfriend now and he is a great man.  I know I should be happy and in a way I am, I know God wants me to mature and I will keep my promise to God to stay single until next year June 7th...

But I see my sister so happy with her boyfriend Nick and today I saw Angela (my cousin) with her boyfriend and they just seem so happy.  I know I can be happy without a man... just with the added stress of not knowing anymore where to live I think I feel trapped somehow I don't know how to explain.

I am thinking living near church like maybe Victoria Park and Sheppard and just focus on outreaching the Chester Le area.  Without a good roommate moving to Jane and Finch is not safe.  The Crips gang is in Chester Le too but Sheppard is far enough that I don't need to walk in Chester Le by myself at night.

I am thinking of Harold again but I am gonna try not to contact him.  If one day he likes me he will contact me.  I have to stop throwing myself at guys.

I also listened to a very depressing song by Christina Perri called "The Lonely".  It's a nice song but very depressing.  After that I think I just went downhill.