I Surrender All

As I am writing this, I am not doing well. My period problem is back (this is the second time I had a period this month, and there is A LOT of blood. I'm crying and wishing Aaron was here. (He left for Seattle this morning, and I am missing him like crazy).

I had to miss softball practice today because I had my period problem. And right now I just feel like no one will understand how I feel. I don't even know exactly why I am crying.

It's been exactly one year yesterday that I came to Grace Chinese Gospel Church. It has been exactly one year Saturday that Adrian and I broke up. I had such a busy and fun weekend with softball, Arabic Church, and what not, that I didn't even have a chance to be sad this whole weekend. The sadness came yesterday, when we had our goodbye party for Aaron. (he's coming back, but only after 6 weeks in Seattle)

Aaron was there for me over the past year or so and helped me a lot in my transition to Grace Gospel Church and with every single problem I had in general. He was always there for me. And now I won't be able to see him until September. I know it seems like a short time, but it seems like a long time to me.

On top of all this, Andrew hasn't been very responsive to me and I'm not gonna try to initiate any conversation to him anymore until he initiates it with me. Maybe he is just busy with work. I don't know.

But I just wish I could cry on someone's shoulder right now!!! But I am too afraid to call and bother people with my problems. And I just feel like no one would understand. What would I say anyway? I would just cry.