Dear God, draw me close to You

This is the third time I wrote on this blog today but I don't care.

I was crying really hard just now, because I feel far away from God. I miss God. I want to be close to Him again. I'm very sad and heartbroken. I feel like I like broke up with God or something. I was talking to Caleb on the phone about this. He understands what I mean.

Tomorrow is the last time I'm gonna see Caleb until he comes back from Hong Kong in late August. I feel like going up to him and crying and hugging him. That's what I feel like doing.

I feel like Andrew and I are not going to work out. I'm very heartbroken right now. I think I'm just gonna try to tell him I like him and just get it over with. There's never a "right time" anyways, if I keep dragging this on I'm just gonna wait until I die.

I feel so guilty, I don't even spend much time with God anymore. I feel like I'm starting to become empty inside.

Caleb told me that God still loves me. That made me cry even more because what kind of God is this that He would love me even though I'm not even obeying his commands. What a good God he is. So I cried even more.

I just want to be close to God again.