I can't sleep tonight, but I don't mind. I have been just praying and thinking back on my life, and thinking about my teens (yes, I call them MY teens because I love them so much) at Charis church. I cried too, for several reasons but none of the reasons are because I am sad. Let me explain.
Tonight one of my teens told me her grandpa has only a few days to live, according to what the doctor said. As I listened to her, my eyes started welling up but I tried not to cry in front of her. I just felt what she felt because when I was around her age, in grade 9, my grandpa passed away. For her it's even harder because right now her grandpa is not Christian yet and she is afraid about him not being able to go to heaven. I told her I would pray for him and that I would go with them to visit him tomorrow and pray for him.
As I thought about tomorrow's visit, what I would say to the hurting family, what would I say if I had the chance to talk to the dying grandpa, I realized that God prepared me for this way beforehand. In the past, when I was in high school, I was upset because I never had the chance to go to church youth fellowship every Friday. My parents didn't allow me and instead told me to go to Mandarin school every Friday. I felt left out of the church fellowship because everyone would be bonding and having fun on Friday night while I was in Mandarin school.
But now I know that God was trying to train me for this moment. If I couldn't speak Mandarin, I would not be able to talk to the teen's dying grandpa. I realize that my pain in the past of losing my own grandpa in grade nine and also my so called "pain" of being left out of the church fellowship was actually so that I could help this family who is suffering.
Similar thing with my bipolar disorder. After a while, my symptoms weren't that bad. Sometimes I want to ask, God why would you allow mental illness to happen to people? Especially one friend I visited today, she tried to kill herself a few times already. I know the answer. It doesn't really have to do with God, it has to do with the fact that this world is broken, people are stressed and/or inherit mental illnesses. But God gave me a "taste" of bipolar disorder and helped me recover because He wanted me to be able to help others with mental illnesses. So far, I have met countless friends with mental illnesses. At the very least I know how it feels to be confused in a hospital, to believe things that are ridiculous and illogical, to feel like I want to die, to feel like no one understands. I know God helped me through my bipolar disorder so that I can in turn help others whom He has placed on my path. I pray for them.
I am not trying to boast or anything. I am just saying that God has a plan. When we go through pain, we may not understand at first why this is happening. But later you will understand, and you can thank God for putting you through that pain because later it will turn out for good.
I totally surrender my life to Jesus now. He is my only lover and closest friend. As I was praying I asked Jesus to fill the hole in my heart. The hole that was created 10 years ago when I broke up with my first boyfriend. The hole that was never properly healed or filled. I now know that Jesus was being patient with me. He was waiting for me to come to Him with all my pain and let Him embrace me.
Now I'm listening to Backstreet Boys with a totally different perspective... Jesus is the one for me. Even if a guy asks me out right now, no thank you. I want to enjoy Jesus and be fully devoted to Him, and only when He tells me it is the right time, for sure, I can start dating again. But I am in no rush. The past week when I spent every meal reading His Word (Bible) and praying, I have never been more satisfied with life.
Try this! Listen to the song below while imagining the Chorus being sung by Jesus! it fits His personality and how He loves us.
Friday, September 6, 2013
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
Am I ready for the battle?
Getting emails from my friend Cymone in Hong Kong makes me realize that spiritual warfare is very very real. She wants to start an online ministry where she sells products and accessories, and on the website will also be information about the gospel. She felt called to leave her comfortable home in Canada and go live in a rented ugly and leaky apartment in Hong Kong. In fact, before she moved into the leaky apartment she had a vision that it would be leaky, before even seeing it.
And she told me that every time she was praying for someone or doing God's work, obstacles would come, for example her body would have sudden pains or somehow she wouldn't be able to find the classroom or location of where she wanted to go. She lives in a dangerous area with dark alleys but she trusts in God that she will be safe, her spiritual eyes helped her see that angels were guarding her.
Not only that, but recently her laptop literally burned up in smoke. All she did was press the power button, it didn't overheat but it burned up in smoke so much that you could see the smoke and there was a burnt mark on her desk.
However, telling you all these spiritual things cannot convince you that God and Satan are real. Jesus said, people who see even miracles would not believe. It takes faith to believe. Faith is believing in something you cannot see, and being sure of what you hope for.
Usually God works backwards. The world will say, show us a miracle and we will believe. Jesus says, believe, and I will show you a miracle. It was only after I became Christian that I felt God's presence, experienced struggles with Satan, and saw miracles and heard God's voice. I cannot really explain to you because you will just think I am hallucinating or something. But God is real. And He loves you.
And she told me that every time she was praying for someone or doing God's work, obstacles would come, for example her body would have sudden pains or somehow she wouldn't be able to find the classroom or location of where she wanted to go. She lives in a dangerous area with dark alleys but she trusts in God that she will be safe, her spiritual eyes helped her see that angels were guarding her.
Not only that, but recently her laptop literally burned up in smoke. All she did was press the power button, it didn't overheat but it burned up in smoke so much that you could see the smoke and there was a burnt mark on her desk.
However, telling you all these spiritual things cannot convince you that God and Satan are real. Jesus said, people who see even miracles would not believe. It takes faith to believe. Faith is believing in something you cannot see, and being sure of what you hope for.
Usually God works backwards. The world will say, show us a miracle and we will believe. Jesus says, believe, and I will show you a miracle. It was only after I became Christian that I felt God's presence, experienced struggles with Satan, and saw miracles and heard God's voice. I cannot really explain to you because you will just think I am hallucinating or something. But God is real. And He loves you.
Monday, September 2, 2013
Letters
Tonight I feel like writing some letters. The first one is to you, the reader. The second one is to Christos, the man I somehow love even after so much hurt has been caused by me loving him. The third one is to Jesus.
---
Dear Reader and Friend,
Thanks for being there for me when I needed it. I know you are thinking of me and you care for me. As I write this, tears come to my eyes, I'm not even sure why. Maybe because without you, my most trusted friends whom I can share my deepest darkest secrets with, I would feel very alone. I would feel like crap, basically.
Some of you have known me for a long time, some of you shorter. But all of you mean a lot to me. And there is a reason why I trust you enough to let you read my blog. You have shown yourselves to be true friends. And I want to encourage you too.
I know sometimes this blog may worry you, you may feel the sadness that is in me, so I thank you for bearing with me. Sometimes I feel like my blog posts don't really tell you everything, but you get a piece of it, at least.
Sometimes I do worry about whether I should even say something on my blog. I know you won't judge me, but maybe you would judge Christianity? Especially those of you who aren't Christian, I feel like my blog will talk about things that non-Christians won't understand, and you may even feel repulsed by what I say or disagree strongly. You are entitled to your own opinion, and thanks for allowing me to share my view with you. Sometimes I don't explain my faith and my God well at all. And Christians can be extremely imperfect people. I mean, just look at me.
It's like playing a saxophone. Unless you have learned to play the saxophone, you wouldn't really understand the joy of playing saxophone with great skill. Similar thing with knowing Jesus. I enjoy Jesus a lot and I hear his voice from time to time. You wouldn't know what it feels like unless you really knew Him. I am not saying that I am more skilled than you, I am just using the saxophone playing as an example. I really hope you can enjoy this one day, knowing Jesus so deeply that you feel like you are dancing with Him, you hear His voice speaking and comforting you, and knowing for sure that He is alive and real in your heart even though most people just think of him as a historical person who lived 2000 years ago.
Anyway, back to what I was originally saying. Thanks for being there. You mean a lot to me. I see you as my equal, my family, my friends. You are all wonderful people.
Your friend, Martine
--------------------
Christos,
I know that you won't be able to read this unless you really cared so much that you decided to hack into it and find this. This letter was really meant for me to try to express my feelings.
I'm sorry I had to block you again from facebook and my blog, and not answering your texts without any explanation of why I did that (again). I just felt that if I explained, you wouldn't understand and would try to convince me that it's OK to keep in contact and be attached to you.
I see the good in you, I really do. I care about you so much. These last few days have not been easy for me, thought about you every day, thought about whether I should just text you back, because I missed you and wanted to be your friend.
What you don't understand is... well, you really won't understand and will probably take it the wrong way... the space that you occupy in my heart is supposed to be Jesus' spot and Jesus wants it back. Being so attached to you is unhealthy to my spiritual health. I am torn because I really do want to be your friend and have you come to lifegroup but on the other hand I haven't healed from our breakup and I haven't fallen in love with Jesus and stayed in love with Jesus. I was basically cheating on Jesus by being with you.
I have forgiven you for the things you have done to hurt me so I don't blame you for anything. I blame it all on myself. I lack self control and lack wisdom, that is how I got myself in this mess in the first place and I beat myself up for not putting up boundaries since day one. If I had guarded my heart and not started a relationship with you back in February none of this would have happened.
I told you the truth when I said I never loved a man so much. Oh no I'm tearing up again. I really wish I could just tell you and that you would understand but you won't, the moment I text you back it's going to start the cycle all over again, me being attached to you and holding on to the little comfort that I have in you rather than the greater comfort that Jesus is trying to offer me.
And you would be mad that I brought up Jesus and you would be mad that I'm somehow choosing God over you, you would be.
I know you care about me, I know you do. That's why it hurts to ignore you like this. I wish I could just hug you and we would just all be OK. But life doesn't work like that.
I'm praying for you, you know that means I care about you.
I'm sorry.
Goodbye for now, Christos... I'll let you know when I have fully healed and when Jesus is back in His spot and when He says I can talk to you again.
---------
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for the beautiful day I got to spend with Josh, Karl, and others at the CNE today. It was the last official day of summer for most people and it was so fun, I forgot about all my pain and struggles, at least for about 10 hours. I really felt like you were making sure I was okay, because when it was pouring rain I just happened to be under an overhang, and right when I was walking out of the overhang the rain lessened so much that it wasn't even bad.
I got to see the Superdogs show which I really liked, and also an acrobatics show. I really liked the black and white dog that liked to bite on the rope. That one was really cute.
Dear Jesus, I am sorry for being unfaithful to you in the past. I want to love you more from now on and listen to you very carefully. Not just hear, but also listen, as in obey. I know you want the best for me so I want to ask you to help me live my life in a way that is healthy and good.
Please help me heal from my past pain. There was so much deep pain that my counselor and I talked about. Just knowing about the sources of pain doesn't really help. I need You to actually heal me and I need to be willing to be healed. I heard the healing process can be painful and slow.
Thanks for giving Cymone the words to encourage me. She really knows how to listen to your voice. She said that when she prayed for me she saw a picture of me walking with her through the process of healing.
I have many things to talk with you about and I know you will listen. Please help me to listen to you too. I love you Jesus
Yours, Martine
---
Dear Reader and Friend,
Thanks for being there for me when I needed it. I know you are thinking of me and you care for me. As I write this, tears come to my eyes, I'm not even sure why. Maybe because without you, my most trusted friends whom I can share my deepest darkest secrets with, I would feel very alone. I would feel like crap, basically.
Some of you have known me for a long time, some of you shorter. But all of you mean a lot to me. And there is a reason why I trust you enough to let you read my blog. You have shown yourselves to be true friends. And I want to encourage you too.
I know sometimes this blog may worry you, you may feel the sadness that is in me, so I thank you for bearing with me. Sometimes I feel like my blog posts don't really tell you everything, but you get a piece of it, at least.
Sometimes I do worry about whether I should even say something on my blog. I know you won't judge me, but maybe you would judge Christianity? Especially those of you who aren't Christian, I feel like my blog will talk about things that non-Christians won't understand, and you may even feel repulsed by what I say or disagree strongly. You are entitled to your own opinion, and thanks for allowing me to share my view with you. Sometimes I don't explain my faith and my God well at all. And Christians can be extremely imperfect people. I mean, just look at me.
It's like playing a saxophone. Unless you have learned to play the saxophone, you wouldn't really understand the joy of playing saxophone with great skill. Similar thing with knowing Jesus. I enjoy Jesus a lot and I hear his voice from time to time. You wouldn't know what it feels like unless you really knew Him. I am not saying that I am more skilled than you, I am just using the saxophone playing as an example. I really hope you can enjoy this one day, knowing Jesus so deeply that you feel like you are dancing with Him, you hear His voice speaking and comforting you, and knowing for sure that He is alive and real in your heart even though most people just think of him as a historical person who lived 2000 years ago.
Anyway, back to what I was originally saying. Thanks for being there. You mean a lot to me. I see you as my equal, my family, my friends. You are all wonderful people.
Your friend, Martine
--------------------
Christos,
I know that you won't be able to read this unless you really cared so much that you decided to hack into it and find this. This letter was really meant for me to try to express my feelings.
I'm sorry I had to block you again from facebook and my blog, and not answering your texts without any explanation of why I did that (again). I just felt that if I explained, you wouldn't understand and would try to convince me that it's OK to keep in contact and be attached to you.
I see the good in you, I really do. I care about you so much. These last few days have not been easy for me, thought about you every day, thought about whether I should just text you back, because I missed you and wanted to be your friend.
What you don't understand is... well, you really won't understand and will probably take it the wrong way... the space that you occupy in my heart is supposed to be Jesus' spot and Jesus wants it back. Being so attached to you is unhealthy to my spiritual health. I am torn because I really do want to be your friend and have you come to lifegroup but on the other hand I haven't healed from our breakup and I haven't fallen in love with Jesus and stayed in love with Jesus. I was basically cheating on Jesus by being with you.
I have forgiven you for the things you have done to hurt me so I don't blame you for anything. I blame it all on myself. I lack self control and lack wisdom, that is how I got myself in this mess in the first place and I beat myself up for not putting up boundaries since day one. If I had guarded my heart and not started a relationship with you back in February none of this would have happened.
I told you the truth when I said I never loved a man so much. Oh no I'm tearing up again. I really wish I could just tell you and that you would understand but you won't, the moment I text you back it's going to start the cycle all over again, me being attached to you and holding on to the little comfort that I have in you rather than the greater comfort that Jesus is trying to offer me.
And you would be mad that I brought up Jesus and you would be mad that I'm somehow choosing God over you, you would be.
I know you care about me, I know you do. That's why it hurts to ignore you like this. I wish I could just hug you and we would just all be OK. But life doesn't work like that.
I'm praying for you, you know that means I care about you.
I'm sorry.
Goodbye for now, Christos... I'll let you know when I have fully healed and when Jesus is back in His spot and when He says I can talk to you again.
---------
Dear Jesus,
Thank you for the beautiful day I got to spend with Josh, Karl, and others at the CNE today. It was the last official day of summer for most people and it was so fun, I forgot about all my pain and struggles, at least for about 10 hours. I really felt like you were making sure I was okay, because when it was pouring rain I just happened to be under an overhang, and right when I was walking out of the overhang the rain lessened so much that it wasn't even bad.
I got to see the Superdogs show which I really liked, and also an acrobatics show. I really liked the black and white dog that liked to bite on the rope. That one was really cute.
Dear Jesus, I am sorry for being unfaithful to you in the past. I want to love you more from now on and listen to you very carefully. Not just hear, but also listen, as in obey. I know you want the best for me so I want to ask you to help me live my life in a way that is healthy and good.
Please help me heal from my past pain. There was so much deep pain that my counselor and I talked about. Just knowing about the sources of pain doesn't really help. I need You to actually heal me and I need to be willing to be healed. I heard the healing process can be painful and slow.
Thanks for giving Cymone the words to encourage me. She really knows how to listen to your voice. She said that when she prayed for me she saw a picture of me walking with her through the process of healing.
I have many things to talk with you about and I know you will listen. Please help me to listen to you too. I love you Jesus
Yours, Martine
Saturday, August 31, 2013
Where there is God, there is a way
After moving into my new place, I went to Jen's house for sharing and prayer. I felt very supported by Karl, Jen, and Aaron during that time. I know what I need to work on ... Aaron pointed out that I am so feelings oriented and always focused on what makes me happy or what makes others happy. That has actually made me go all over the place in a mess. What about doing what's right? And doing what's right will in the end bring me to a constant joy that is not based on circumstances.
I feel better right now. I know I haven't fully healed yet but I will.
Here's to a new start.
I feel better right now. I know I haven't fully healed yet but I will.
Here's to a new start.
Reopened wounds
I don't even know where to start with this one. I don't even know if I can finish writing this post in 15 minutes (right now I just have some spare time before Karl and Aaron come to help me move my stuff to my new place).
The past few days have been kind of hard for me. Reopened wounds. Pastor Fiona, my dear mentor, came back from California and finally met up with me again on Wednesday. I told her everything. She was very concerned for me because turns out I never fully healed from the whole Christos thing, I just kind of covered up and moved on. The most obvious sign was that three Fridays ago I met up with Christos and we kissed. And we still text and if you analyze my texts you will see that I am still attached to him.
Pastor Fiona asked me, what if it was a younger teen who was sitting here and they told you the same story, what advice would you give them? Obviously don't talk to the guy again, because he convinced you to do something that you didn't want to do (the sexual stuff). Pastor Fiona puts it this way, that he took advantage of me. Me being very forgiving I just forgave him and decided to keep being his friend. But I do understand that keeping in touch with Christos isn't healthy for me. He is not attached to me anymore (or maybe he is, I don't know) but I am attached to him and it is unhealthy for my mind and heart.
The pain is reopened. I told my supervising pastor about it (the pastor at Charis church, my new job) after Pastor Fiona advised me to. At first I thought if I told him what I did I would lose my job because I would be considered a bad example to young people. But thank God, the pastor forgave me and still sees me as a good potential pastor. However I was living paralyzed in fear for one day before I gave him the call and told him. The reason why I had to tell him, is because a pastor or leader is supposed to live in integrity.
Now the question is how do I get over this guy. I feel like part of me wants to hold on. I already blocked him off facebook and he can't read my blog, and I stopped texting him back. But one day I know he will show up at the church lifegroup again and I'll have to be strong, just say hi, and smile and I don't even know what's going to happen. The original reason why I kept in touch with him was because I knew he would come back to church and I wanted him to become a Christian, so I wanted to stay friends with him so that it wouldn't be awkward.
I think back to all my counseling sessions. The reasons are so complex why I got myself into this mess. It has to do with so many factors. My past with my parents' breaking up me and my boyfriends and me trying to fix the pain by filling it with another boyfriend, my dad's absence in my life, my own lack of self control and lack of boundaries, me being buried into ministry and not having a constant mentor or accountability partner to look up to, my lack of fun times with friends, my people-pleasing nature, my relationship with God not being steady and me not letting God heal me and pour His love and affection on me... so complicated. But it all still comes down to me and my choices. I made the choices in the end, Christos didn't. He influenced me and other factors influenced me but I was being stupid.
I don't think I forgave myself really. Even if I did before, now the guilt is back.
I am just thankful that God forgives and always gives another chance, no matter how gross or filthy my mistakes are. I was afraid that all that I enjoy doing would be taken away but thank God that that is not the case.
Dear God,
Please help me to heal and get over Christos once and for all, and make me your lovesick Bride, make me lovesick for You Jesus, I'm sorry for my unfaithfulness, please forgive me and remove my guilt. God make me joyful again and pure again. Help me to live every day not in fear but out of love for You. Make me a free woman in your grace, free from sin and free from attachment of the wrong things. Help Christos too in whatever way You think best. I feel like he won't understand why I blocked him and ignore him but I pray you keep me strong and if I shouldn't contact him then help me to be strong and self controlled. May your will be done. Thanks for loving me.
Martine
The past few days have been kind of hard for me. Reopened wounds. Pastor Fiona, my dear mentor, came back from California and finally met up with me again on Wednesday. I told her everything. She was very concerned for me because turns out I never fully healed from the whole Christos thing, I just kind of covered up and moved on. The most obvious sign was that three Fridays ago I met up with Christos and we kissed. And we still text and if you analyze my texts you will see that I am still attached to him.
Pastor Fiona asked me, what if it was a younger teen who was sitting here and they told you the same story, what advice would you give them? Obviously don't talk to the guy again, because he convinced you to do something that you didn't want to do (the sexual stuff). Pastor Fiona puts it this way, that he took advantage of me. Me being very forgiving I just forgave him and decided to keep being his friend. But I do understand that keeping in touch with Christos isn't healthy for me. He is not attached to me anymore (or maybe he is, I don't know) but I am attached to him and it is unhealthy for my mind and heart.
The pain is reopened. I told my supervising pastor about it (the pastor at Charis church, my new job) after Pastor Fiona advised me to. At first I thought if I told him what I did I would lose my job because I would be considered a bad example to young people. But thank God, the pastor forgave me and still sees me as a good potential pastor. However I was living paralyzed in fear for one day before I gave him the call and told him. The reason why I had to tell him, is because a pastor or leader is supposed to live in integrity.
Now the question is how do I get over this guy. I feel like part of me wants to hold on. I already blocked him off facebook and he can't read my blog, and I stopped texting him back. But one day I know he will show up at the church lifegroup again and I'll have to be strong, just say hi, and smile and I don't even know what's going to happen. The original reason why I kept in touch with him was because I knew he would come back to church and I wanted him to become a Christian, so I wanted to stay friends with him so that it wouldn't be awkward.
I think back to all my counseling sessions. The reasons are so complex why I got myself into this mess. It has to do with so many factors. My past with my parents' breaking up me and my boyfriends and me trying to fix the pain by filling it with another boyfriend, my dad's absence in my life, my own lack of self control and lack of boundaries, me being buried into ministry and not having a constant mentor or accountability partner to look up to, my lack of fun times with friends, my people-pleasing nature, my relationship with God not being steady and me not letting God heal me and pour His love and affection on me... so complicated. But it all still comes down to me and my choices. I made the choices in the end, Christos didn't. He influenced me and other factors influenced me but I was being stupid.
I don't think I forgave myself really. Even if I did before, now the guilt is back.
I am just thankful that God forgives and always gives another chance, no matter how gross or filthy my mistakes are. I was afraid that all that I enjoy doing would be taken away but thank God that that is not the case.
Dear God,
Please help me to heal and get over Christos once and for all, and make me your lovesick Bride, make me lovesick for You Jesus, I'm sorry for my unfaithfulness, please forgive me and remove my guilt. God make me joyful again and pure again. Help me to live every day not in fear but out of love for You. Make me a free woman in your grace, free from sin and free from attachment of the wrong things. Help Christos too in whatever way You think best. I feel like he won't understand why I blocked him and ignore him but I pray you keep me strong and if I shouldn't contact him then help me to be strong and self controlled. May your will be done. Thanks for loving me.
Martine
Thursday, August 29, 2013
One of the most touching stories in the Bible
John 8
New International Version (NIV)
8 1 but Jesus went to the Mount of Olives.
2 At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. 3 The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group 4 and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. 5 In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?” 6 They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him.But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. 7 When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, “Let any one of you who is without sin be the first to throw a stone at her.” 8 Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground.
9 At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. 10 Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”
11 “No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”
Sunday, August 25, 2013
Another new beginning
Today was the appreciation and farewell party for Lindsay, who was the Youth Worker at Charis Evangelical Free Church for the past year. He is an amazing guy, honestly I really admire his heart for God and I can see the fruit of his teaching in the youth's hearts. Starting next Sunday I officially start as the Youth Pastoral Intern at this church and Lindsay will be taking a break. I am very happy to have found this church where I can serve and the hearts of the youth are so open to learn and they are all pretty easy to get along with.
At Charis I will be in charge of the youth fellowship, preaching, and Sunday school. That is actually a lot to take care of but I will pray for God's guidance and I already found some possible good curriculum that I can use. I'm excited to teach teens because I've been teaching children for 10 years and I really wanted to move on to impacting youth for Christ.
Another new beginning coming up is me moving out next weekend. Yes, I have to pay my own rent and cook for myself. I have to learn to live on my own. Thank God that many people have donated materials to me so I don't need to buy too much new stuff for my new place. I just hope that I don't offend my landlady in any way and that I will budget wisely. I know my mom will probably call me every day because she will still be overprotective... I mean today I was at church for dinner and she thought since I didn't answer my phone that I fainted on the street. Sheesh!
Also Gloria and I are starting the Sounds of Hope music and poetry club at Chester Le in Sept. Yes, I will be crazy busy because we are going to run Sounds of Hope twice a week, once for kids and once for teens. Hopefully we get more help so that I won't need to organize so much. I'll have to work really hard this upcoming term in order to finish all my school assignments and all that.
Anyways overall I am excited... just pray that I don't burn out but instead spend lots of time in prayer and the Word to replenish energy and be joyful all the time!
At Charis I will be in charge of the youth fellowship, preaching, and Sunday school. That is actually a lot to take care of but I will pray for God's guidance and I already found some possible good curriculum that I can use. I'm excited to teach teens because I've been teaching children for 10 years and I really wanted to move on to impacting youth for Christ.
Another new beginning coming up is me moving out next weekend. Yes, I have to pay my own rent and cook for myself. I have to learn to live on my own. Thank God that many people have donated materials to me so I don't need to buy too much new stuff for my new place. I just hope that I don't offend my landlady in any way and that I will budget wisely. I know my mom will probably call me every day because she will still be overprotective... I mean today I was at church for dinner and she thought since I didn't answer my phone that I fainted on the street. Sheesh!
Also Gloria and I are starting the Sounds of Hope music and poetry club at Chester Le in Sept. Yes, I will be crazy busy because we are going to run Sounds of Hope twice a week, once for kids and once for teens. Hopefully we get more help so that I won't need to organize so much. I'll have to work really hard this upcoming term in order to finish all my school assignments and all that.
Anyways overall I am excited... just pray that I don't burn out but instead spend lots of time in prayer and the Word to replenish energy and be joyful all the time!
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