I found myself again

Tonight I'm singing at the Waffle House talent show. It's something I haven't done in a while. I really hope that I won't mess up. But it should be okay. I am looking forward to it though.

I found myself again after I started doing things that I like again. Today I ran with Ronald, pretty good exercise. And I was studying with people this week which I also like. Now I just need to get back to dancing.

Teaching Sunday school is turning out to be more fun than I thought. The kids are alright and are learning.

I bought a few rings and necklaces and earrings, which also makes me happy. Gotta be careful though, I need to save money because of school expenses for the future and also my dad says his pension plan sucks. So yeah I gota save money whenever I can. I know God will provide.

:) <3

Satan is working already

Yo Satan, im not trying to pick a fight with you but if you wanna fight, then i'll fight. I got more armour than you and I got more faith than you. You can't destroy lifegroup and I won't let you. GOD won't let you. The battle is won already as seen in revelations ok and you are going to jail and in the lake of fire so screw you.

I hate how you use people I love to go against each other and fight and make my heart break. I hate you. I hate how you manipulate people and make them misunderstand each other. I hate sin. You freaking devil I hate you!

I'm gonna pray more, read more Bible, tell more people about Jesus and you're gonna LOSE. Hear that? You're gonna LOSE. In the end, Alan and Ken will become best friends because God would have heard my prayer. And you're going to cry in that dark cell of yours and wish that you never rebelled against God.

You're never gonna win so why don't you give up? oh right you're too stupid to give up right? Yeah thats right.

I hate you with a passion and I'm gonna pray that all your demons go away from my church and go away from me and my friends. You suck and you are no match for MY KING JESUS.

HA! Take THAT! JESUS RULES!

Forgive them father for they know not what they do

In the Bible, while he was hanging and dying and dehydrating and struggling while nailed onto the cross, Jesus said "Forgive them Father for they know not what they are doing". Even though people nailed him, NAILED HIM!!!! And beat him and whipped him until he bled... He had the strength to breathe out those words "Father forgive them".

That shows how much we should forgive others. Maybe the things they are doing to you, they don't understand. Either they are psychotic or they are hurting or they learned it from their dad, or whatever... but they know not what they do.

God is good. SO good. He is irresistable love. God loves you and wants you to get to know Him in a personal relationship. Are you willing? He forgives you and wants to just give you a big embrace. Come to Him!!!

Staying connected to Who I Am...

I am a child of God, made to enjoy His presence.
I am a girl, grew up in a traditional Chinese home.
I am a girl longing to be free to be myself.

I love dance, I love singing
I love hiking, I love purple
I love serving the poor
I love making friends with people in the LGBTQ community
I love to get to know people with disabilities
I want to stand up and speak out on mental health

I love to listen to music
I love christian rock
I love christian rap
I love God and missions trips

I love Montreal, I feel like I have a deep connection there
I love to speak French
I love Arab youth and just youth in general
I love Arab food
I love being loved.

I enjoy hugs. I need words of affirmation.
I appreciate quality time with friends and family.

I hope all my friends and family will one day know God.

I hope my life will make a difference.

I hope never to lose touch with myself ever again.

Children are a blessing but they can be a curse.
God knows I love them but may God give me the strength to teach them.

Over the past few months I started to lose touch with myself
I was going through life and routine
without doing the things I loved
and without taking care of myself
I started avoiding friends
avoiding people
avoiding God

I don't like that.

When I am in touch with myself, I am also more in touch with God
because God created me to be a particular type of person
and I need to connect with myself before I can help others

God, please help me
I want to be me
I want to be free
I want to live a life of joy
and peace
and deepness

I want to live a life
that will impact the world
and impact young people to impact the world like a ripple effect

Sleepless night?

Well it's 3:51am and I need to wake up at 6am for school anyways so I'm thinking I will just pull an all nighter. I was too excited about planning my fundraising birthday party, too excited about life in general and maybe just a little hypomanic. :)

Listening to music right now. The Piano Guys on youtube are pretty awesome.

update

Hey everyone,

Today has been a good day. Yesterday I finished 3 chapters worth of reading at Aaron's house's study session and then when i got home I watched "There's Something About Mary" which is a pretty interesting movie. It was a romantic comedy but somehow after the laughter I ended up crying about Andrew. I guess because I realized that just like the main character of the movie, all this time I really just liked one guy for real and that guy is Andrew.

After crying and talking to Aaron, the next morning I talked to my counselor about it and we figured out that my three love languages are touch, words of affirmation and quality time spent with the people you love. But the problem is in my family we almost never hug, appreciate each other, or spend quality time. So i seek this in guys thinking that that's where it is, but really I should be seeking it in God and friends.

Even though God is invisible and cannot really touch me physically, He can touch me through His Word and through other people. And words of affirmation are all over the Bible I just gotta look more deeply into it.

After the counselling session I went to chapel and listened to a choir sing two songs. It was great. Then there was a speaker who spoke about salt and light but I fell asleep during his sermon. At least I got some rest.

Then lunchtime and then classtime. I fell asleep just a little bit during classtime but after I got my coffee I was upbeat and paying attention. :) The coffee also brightened up my cheeks and made them rosier and people said I looked good :)

Prayer time was very good and then I went to the other campus to find my water bottle. It was right where I left it :)

After that I came home and went on facebook to promote some events. Please come out to my performance at the Waffle House talent show March 17th!!! its a sat night at 7pm!!!

After that, watched a sad video about starving children in Africa and almost cried because they seemed to be so desperate for help but I didn't have enough money to donate as much as I would have liked to.

Now I am pumped to do some reading and tomorrow I'm going to visit the YMCA gym and see if I should sign up. Finally I'm doing something about myself!

My goal is to pray about everything. Every little decision and every thing. Thanks to Joyce for reminding me to do that.

Tips on how to help myself stay passionate about life with God

1) Stay thankful. Remember in some places churches have to meet in secret and the Bible is a treasure.

2)Remember the good times. Sometimes things can get discouraging, just look back at the good memories and that way I can look forward to making more memorable moments.

3)Stay organized. Taking things as they come is just another way of getting myself down. It's better to plan ahead and look forward to accomplishing things.

4) Stay in prayer and the Word. Without growing personally in the Lord, how can I lead others to grow?

5)Take some time to enjoy life. Do something for myself, do something that I like, remember to take care of myself.

6) Remember to put things into perspective. Life is not just about doing a job or going to school. The universe is huge and my God is in charge of it. I know the Prince of Peace personally and I have a relationship with the Almighty Creator. That is something I should stand in awe about! And I'm engaged to Jesus Christ :) how special :)

7) Listen to Christian music. It makes SUCH a difference when I have an inspiring soundtrack to life!