Almost broke up

Me and Chris almost broke up, I was very upset and suicidal.  Long story short I didn't take my medicine for 4 days thinking my bipolar disorder might be cured, then my mom triggered me by yelling at me saying Julio is lying about his father who passed away.  My guinea pig is having asthma attacks and I was sad already and my mom added to the sadness.  Then a lot of ppl said I should break up with Chris and it's the same old story over and over.  I cried at Jen's house and she comforted me but even she thought I wanted to break up with Chris and she thought I should do it.  Anyway it's so complicated I ended up meeting Chris to talk at midnight and he comforted me saying he won't leave me and he will grow in Christ he just needs more time.  Also the reason why he cannot tell me he loves me anymore is because he needs time.  I told him it hurt me when I said "I love you" and all I heard was either nothing or "see you later".  It hurt me bad but I tried to be strong, finally my mom set me off and I became suicidal and wanted to break up.

After talking with Chris we decided to stay together and he will support me and also I became hyper again since I am bipolar I go down then up.

I listened to music and went on facebook all night (you should read all my facebook posts.  Very painful yet inspiring and hopeful)

I talked to Golda and I talked to Golda's dad.  They helped me and most of all Chris talked to me all night on facebook even after he got home.  He told me he wanted to spend more time with me.  He finally started understanding my bipolar disorder and why I wanted to break up at first.  He finally started knowing the real me deep inside, the hurting and lonely me who always tries to help others but never found love for herself.

I am still slightly weird right now but the music is helping ... many songs helped including Beyonce's songs here is one of them... it's not depressing just sad.




But this one reminds me of Chris's love for me.  He never broke my heart, just gave my heart a break