Take it one step at a time

Yesterday while waiting for Rita at the mall, I saw a Salvation Army band play Christmas carols.  It was so good, I wanted to cry.  I started missing Tommy and I lost my appetite especially because the food court was so small and I had eaten an egg tart at Michelle's house (tutoring).  I started crying over Tommy again until Rita found me, and she talked with me and took me home soon after our talk because I looked exhausted from a week of irregular sleeping.

I know right now I should stay single and be open to whatever God brings me.  I need to live my life, try to be happy and just do what I gotta do each day.  God closed the door to Tommy, maybe He will open a window.  Right now, as Tommy says, things are "complicated".  I'm preparing myself to move out in Sept of next year, I'm learning to love myself, and in the meantime even though me and Tommy still love each other, he might go to Africa and my parents might still want that police check if I were to date him.

Long distance relationships are like a guessing game.  You never know really what the other person is doing and you guess what they are trying to say over text or email.  Skype is also not that reliable and it makes you look at a screen, not a person. You don't get to hang out.

So maybe, if God brings me and Tommy back together in the future, then it will no longer be a long distance relationship.  We will have to see what happens.  Tommy knows I still love him.  Today I was happy to talk to him on facebook.  It was the first real conversation we had.  I prefer facebook chat over text actually. Text is the worst.

I'm done crying now. I have way too much work to do to worry about Tommy.  The essay that is due in less than two weeks is not even started.  Better start now...