Bad.

Last night and the night before I fell into temptation.  I had a lot of energy at night and I read the Bible and all, but afterwards when I lay down in bed, still feeling energetic, and ran out of stuff to do (or so I thought), I ended up letting my mind and body go down the drain.

I know what I should have done.  I should have played more christian music, prayed more, and read the Bible more to prevent myself from going down the drain.  However, I was too lazy.  And what is worse is that after the sin, I didn't feel guilty at all.  I guess my mind starts to rationalize sin when it feels good.  I am guessing you can probably guess what sin I am talking about.  Please don't tell anyone.

I struggled with this sin since I was 4 years old.  I know, very young to be thinking dirty thoughts, but yes I am a very sinful person.  I was once addicted to this sin but after I became a Christian I was able to overcome more and more with the power of the Holy Spirit.  But once in a while I still struggle.

I tried accountability networks online, like www.xxxchurch.com, but it didn't help all that much.  I think it really has to do with self control and surrendering and fighting for God.  How much do you value integrity?

There is something very wrong when you sin and don't feel guilty about it.  I don't want to lead a double life.  I want to be holy.  To be holy requires effort, it is not magic.  It is not just about praying and asking God for his help either, even though that is important.  It takes big steps on your part.

Please pray for me that I will stop thinking dirty thoughts and please pray that I will fight to the death and let sin die.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.