Overworked? Read this!

Jesus answered, “The work of God is this: to believe in the one he has sent.”

John 6:29

Bad.

Last night and the night before I fell into temptation.  I had a lot of energy at night and I read the Bible and all, but afterwards when I lay down in bed, still feeling energetic, and ran out of stuff to do (or so I thought), I ended up letting my mind and body go down the drain.

I know what I should have done.  I should have played more christian music, prayed more, and read the Bible more to prevent myself from going down the drain.  However, I was too lazy.  And what is worse is that after the sin, I didn't feel guilty at all.  I guess my mind starts to rationalize sin when it feels good.  I am guessing you can probably guess what sin I am talking about.  Please don't tell anyone.

I struggled with this sin since I was 4 years old.  I know, very young to be thinking dirty thoughts, but yes I am a very sinful person.  I was once addicted to this sin but after I became a Christian I was able to overcome more and more with the power of the Holy Spirit.  But once in a while I still struggle.

I tried accountability networks online, like www.xxxchurch.com, but it didn't help all that much.  I think it really has to do with self control and surrendering and fighting for God.  How much do you value integrity?

There is something very wrong when you sin and don't feel guilty about it.  I don't want to lead a double life.  I want to be holy.  To be holy requires effort, it is not magic.  It is not just about praying and asking God for his help either, even though that is important.  It takes big steps on your part.

Please pray for me that I will stop thinking dirty thoughts and please pray that I will fight to the death and let sin die.

1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.

Found this on facebook

Hey guys I found this on facebook and found it appropriate and applicable to me, because lately I realize I have been not putting my 100 % in terms of love for God and passion for God and his people.  I realize that I am sometimes trying to please men rather than please God and sometimes I don't hear or listen to His voice.

Do what I have given you to do with a pure heart and excellent spirit. Whatever you have set your will to do, do for the enhancement and enrichment of My kingdom on the earth. It falls to each one to build up and not tear down, to be an encouragement to the members of My body, says the Lord. You are to be a help and not a hindrance to the work of the Spirit. Be strong and of good courage, and do the work.

1 Corinthians 3:13 each one’s work will become clear; for the Day will declare it, because it will be revealed by fire; and the fire will test each one’s work, of what sort it is.

- Marsha Burns

Not sure what to name this post.

Dear God,

There is a lot I need to confess.  First of all, I confess that I have not been consistently spending time with You.  You deserve more than this.  In this culture, we often do things according to how we feel.  Or if things are convenient.  Why am I following this type of culture?  God, I'm sorry.  Please help me to be consistent again.  I was sort of consistent, for one week, doing devos in the morning, but then mornings got busy.  Then I was consistently doing it in the evenings, for one week, until evenings got busy too.  Sigh.  I really gotta make it a priority.

Secondly, I confess that I have not been concentrating on school, and also I don't evangelize much anymore.  I am easily distracted and ministry stuff seems to fill up my schedule very quickly.  Even though it is ministry stuff, it doesn't mean that I am evangelizing though, it just means I am busy with ministry stuff.

I also confess that I am obsessing over Tommy again.  I feel like I think about him so much more than I think about You.  Have I forgotten my first love?

There are also other things that are bothering me... doubts about whether Tommy and I will end up together, worrying about Urbana fundraisers and outreach stuff, wondering whether agreeing to meet up with Harold tomorrow (just the two of us) was a bad idea, school, tuition, finances in general, whether I should allow Tommy to see this blog (yes I am thinking of letting him read this), etc.

God, thanks for listening to me.  Please help me to be a good example and be strong in faith.  God please help me to put You as a priority again.  Thank you for your forgiveness.

In Jesus Name,
Amen

Questions to ask God

In prayer, have you ever asked God these questions? He will answer, just say "Speak Lord, your servant is listening".

1. how much do You love me, and how have You revealed this love?
2. Is there an area I need to grow in , and what step would You have me take?
3. Is there a person I need to serve, and what can I do to show Your love?
4. What is one area of hidden sin in my life?
5. What word of blessing do You want me to give to someone?
6. Who do You want me to pray for, and what should I pray?

Teaching

You cannot teach a person anything, you can only help him find it within himself.  -Galileo

Things are going well with Tommy

Tommy says he'll visit possibly in September.  But he says the wait is long and he wishes I could come to Montreal before that.  Unfortunately I cannot.

He and I are communicating really well right now.  I told him to slow down when he is speaking French, and he's ok with me speaking English to him if I have trouble expressing myself.

He is learning Chinese now, and I even gave him a Chinese name.  And me? I'm looking up on wordreference.com every time I don't know how to say a word in French.  But sometimes I forget the word if I'm not near a computer.

My sister and Nick are willing to meet him.  My parents are not going to meet him because they want to see if this will last more than one year first.  It's reasonable.

I wonder when is a good time to share my blog with Tommy.  After Christmas?  As a New Year's thing? I don't know.  There is a lot on here that I have experienced and sharing it is like adding on a whole new dimension to how he would get to know me.

I feel like this is where things should be.  At first, I was wondering if Harold was the one, but in fact yesterday I told Harold about Tommy and Harold was happy for me!  That closes up the door that I thought at first was open with Harold!  I don't like Harold anymore anyway in a romantic way.  He is just like a younger brother to me.

I am relearning once again to pray before everything. sometimes i get excited and dont pray but it's better to pray about it cuz then God will make things successful.

I am reading a relationship book again.   It's called More Than A Match.  It's pretty good.