Teaching

You cannot teach a person anything, you can only help him find it within himself.  -Galileo

Things are going well with Tommy

Tommy says he'll visit possibly in September.  But he says the wait is long and he wishes I could come to Montreal before that.  Unfortunately I cannot.

He and I are communicating really well right now.  I told him to slow down when he is speaking French, and he's ok with me speaking English to him if I have trouble expressing myself.

He is learning Chinese now, and I even gave him a Chinese name.  And me? I'm looking up on wordreference.com every time I don't know how to say a word in French.  But sometimes I forget the word if I'm not near a computer.

My sister and Nick are willing to meet him.  My parents are not going to meet him because they want to see if this will last more than one year first.  It's reasonable.

I wonder when is a good time to share my blog with Tommy.  After Christmas?  As a New Year's thing? I don't know.  There is a lot on here that I have experienced and sharing it is like adding on a whole new dimension to how he would get to know me.

I feel like this is where things should be.  At first, I was wondering if Harold was the one, but in fact yesterday I told Harold about Tommy and Harold was happy for me!  That closes up the door that I thought at first was open with Harold!  I don't like Harold anymore anyway in a romantic way.  He is just like a younger brother to me.

I am relearning once again to pray before everything. sometimes i get excited and dont pray but it's better to pray about it cuz then God will make things successful.

I am reading a relationship book again.   It's called More Than A Match.  It's pretty good.

Very Happy This Week

Dear friends,

How are you? It's been a while since I updated, once again, because of busyness and feeling like there is nothing to write about.  but i'm back.

Last week it was my period so I was very blah and didn't want to do anything except sleep.  I did go to the gym twice but I had wanted to go at least 3 times a week.  This week though, I'm feeling much better, much more motivated, happy, and I plan to go to the gym for the fourth time this week tomorrow.

Things between me and Tommy Gagnon have been going well.  Did I tell you about him yet? Well we are more than friends, not really officially dating but we talk everyday by text and maybe like 2x a week by phone.

I am SO glad I have a great phone plan, it doesn't cost me anything long distance.

We are getting to know each other and my love for him grows as time goes on.  I am not sure if he is "the one" for me, but it's getting closer.  Harold is not totally out of the picture but I don't have feelings for him anymore.  Well, I'll keep an open mind in case Harold is the one for me, but I think he is too young for me (4 years younger) as well as the fact that I don't think he is interested in me romantically.

Whatever.  We'll see.  Right now I'm enjoying things and although I don't trust Tommy enough to show him this blog, maybe one day I will.  I am guarding my heart, not gonna share my whole life story with all the guys I liked with him on this blog unless we are both ready for that kind of vulnerability.  I share a lot with him already and for example he knows what happened with all my past boyfriends, just not all my past crushes (which are like 10 million guys)

Tommy is very accepting, caring, outgoing, patient, generous, and devoted to God.  I am so glad I met him.  He is so dedicated to pursuing me that he is learning chinese right now, on his own too!

Crazy!  Anyway yeah I'll update you guys again soon but he might be coming to Toronto in September! I'm praying for it!

Love,
Martine

Facebook addiction?

Hi All,

I think I am sort of addicted to checking email and facebook.  My home computer started going a bit weird and now I cannot access facebook properly on the home computer.  It is annoying.  Why do people love facebook so much? It is because they feel connected and they can express themselves and share stuff.  That's what I love too.  But without it I should still be able to survive right?

On to a different topic.  Lately I've been super busy and doing summer school stuff, church kids ministry stuff, and random meetings with people.  I'm always busy, it seems.

Things with Tommy (yes... right.. I didn't update here about Tommy did I?) have been going well.  Ok, let me backtrack. So Tommy Gagnon is a missionary (27 yrs old) I met in Montreal.  I knew him before because I had heard about him through my other friend Joel, who is also a missionary.  I also support Tommy 50 bucks a month for his mission and get his newsletters.  Anyway, the first week of Montreal I met him in person for the first time in a large group bible study and he invited me out for coffee.

I didn't know he liked me until the last day of the Montreal trip when I met up with Andrew, Teresa, Tony, and Lillian and he wanted to come along.  So I let him come along and noticed he was kind of into me.  I was beginning to like him back too. I was very nervous.

Anyway long story short, he told me over the phone the next day that he was interested in me and we became an almost-couple.  Not dating, but good friends and hoping to marry each other if it's God's will.  Moving fast? Trying not to.  But yeah.

I can tell you more another day but for now I think it's going alright.  I have Angela Brandle, the missionary I stayed with, who is keeping me accountable and I know I'll be fine.

God loves us all! Praise God!

:)

Waiting on God

(copied from the "NIV Application Commentary: Isaiah" by John N. Oswalt, page 448)

 We come back to the theme of trust.  The concept of trust as waiting.  To "wait" on God is not simply to mark time, rather, it is to live in confident expectation of his action on our behalf.  It is to refuse to run ahead of him in trying to solve our problems for ourselves.  Thus, just as Isaiah called on the people of his own day to trust God to solve their problems, he calls on the exiles in the age to come to do the same thing.  If they are worn out and weary, hardly daring to believe that there is any future for them, the God of all strength can give them exactly what they need at the right time, whether to "soar", "run", or "walk".

--
This totally applies to us!

how deep is your love? :) (one of my fave songs)

I feel inadequate

inadequate/ɪnˈadɪkwət/

▶adjective

• 1 lacking the quality or quantity required; insufficient.

• 2 unable to deal with a situation or with life.

Yes. I feel inadequate.  I'm behind on my readings (really behind actually, as in 4 books behind).  I'm behind in my planning for children's ministry.  I'm not on top of things.   Often distracted or wanting to sleep instead of doing things, feeling like I could be doing much better in everything...

I guess that's why I need God. Because God is the one who is least inadequate out of all beings in this world.  He is the one who can help me fill in the holes.  I don't have to be adequate to be his child or his servant, He accepts me as I am.  And I can rejoice in that.

It's been a long time since I've updated this blog.  I feel like I learned a lot during my missions trip yet still did not have enough time to process it all because I got sidetracked with this situation with Tommy Gagnon falling in love with me.  It was a big distraction.

Now I have to re-ask God what did I learn about myself during the missions trip.