Finding closure

This month I found out two of my friends, Bryan Tai and Ade Adegbite, both from UTSC, passed away.  They were around my age.  While I was talking to my counselor I realized that something that would help me bring closure would be to write a letter to each of them, as if they could read my letter.  Maybe it could help me process my feelings and move on.

--
Dear Bryan,

You always seemed like a happy person to me.  Whenever I saw you at UTSC, you were always smiling, friendly, and happy in general.  I can't believe that you took your own life just this month.  Your friends told me that you never saw the point in life.  I wish that I could have talked to you after graduation, because I feel like maybe I could have done something to save you from taking your own life.  I'm sorry that I lost touch with you after graduation and that I wasn't there for you.  I hope you are at peace now but at the same time I wish that I could see your smiling face again.  Life wasn't meant to be cut so short.  If only I could have told you my reason for living, I don't know if I could have convinced you, but at least I would have known that I tried.  You left a lot of hurting friends and family behind.  I know you must have felt desperate, like there was no other way out.  But anyway what is done is done and I just hope that you know we all love you and miss you dearly.  I will always remember your friendship to me, even though we weren't very close.

Your friend, Martine
--

Dear Ade,

When Geissel told me you passed away, and that you went to be with the Lord two years ago, I was shocked.  I remember being in French class with you and helping you with notetaking since you had epilepsy.  I am proud of you for fighting it until the end.  You did your best.  And I remember you were part of VCF and we had some times of prayer together.  Although we didn't keep in touch I still remember the last conversation I had with you.  You said you were thinking of translation school.  I didn't know that shortly after that you left us.  It was only because Geissel saw it on facebook when she wanted to wish you happy birthday.  I hope you know that we all will remember you fondly.  You were a part of us, Ade.  I am glad that right now you are in a place without pain.

Love, Martine