I meet up with Dena every other week and she helps me hear from God. Here is an email she sent me yesterday after I told her about my period problem still not being healed...this is such an encouragement...
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Good Morning, Martine!
When I read this meditation from Larry Crabb this morning, I thought of our discussion last night. I think it is normal and natural and mentally healthy to want to be well -- and to ask Jesus to make you well. In Joni Eareckson's (and the Apostle Paul's) case, their physical thorn in the flesh became the avenue by which they could attain an even greater (and at the time, buried, desire) than physical health: to know HIM intimately and transformatively. I believe that was Bartimaeus' discovery too. Receiving his sight was great blessing but he received "second sight" perhaps ...who Jesus was, and that following Him, being in His company, was truly the greatest thing for which his soul longed.
I don't want you to be "superspiritual", Martine, or dishonest before the Lord or me or anyone, with your desires. As I said before, it is natural (and healthy) not to want to suffer. There is a great personal cost to bear your physical affliction. But perhaps a possible prayer is ... "Lord, please heal me. But if you don't want to heal me - for whatever reasons - show me how to live with this affliction with overcoming grace, grace that is authentic and that comes to know you deeply. A knowing that satisfies my soul at its deepest level."
Hugs (and a blessed Christmas),Dena
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LARRY CRABB: "We want the blessings of a better life more than we desire to draw near to Jesus. We approach Him the way a child approaches a weary Santa Claus in the mall, who for the hundredth time asks, 'What do you want for Christmas?' I wager no child has ever pressed close to Santa's chest, looked up into his eyes, and said, 'You! I want only You.'"
The Pressure's Off, Page 77
Question for Reflection:What things do you ask for instead of nearness to God?
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