Too much to write about

My first ever sleepover at Thuy's house (or anyone else's house for that matter!).  We watched My Sassy Girl and I realized I'm a lot like that girl.  Because I feel that I always try to replace the old boyfriend with a new boyfriend, and then I end up falling for the new guy for who he is although I never really let go of the old guy.  And like the girl in the movie, I have overprotective parents, and need to sort out a lot of things.  I realized after watching the movie that I really needed to move on from old hurts and need to let fate work its work, although fate is also about building a bridge of chance to the one you love.

I feel like I still love Tommy.  Harold has great qualities and is an awesome candidate, but Tommy is the one I still love and hope to be with right now, especially because Harold isn't even interested in me as far as I know.  Anyways I will wait, and stay single until at least my birthday so that I can learn to love myself and be satisfied by myself with God.  I found out from Tommy's adopted brother Jean Renel (who also likes me by the way) that Tommy still loves me but just thinks things are way too complicated.

I gotta run to the gym. :P Update you more soon!

Crazy drama weeks

hey all sorry this is just a quick post to tell u im ok and doing well, family doing well, life is busy and crazy but i am happy and fine and i have decided to move out sept 2013 to tyndale residence.

In God I am strong

God has been really protecting me lately.  Fainted last Friday, car accident on Sunday, received lots of encouragements from friends at school that I barely even know, and the list goes on.  My heart is still hurting sometimes from Tommy but God encourages me through lots of different ways.  I am learning to become stronger, better, and more independent.  After all my strength is gone, in God I can be strong.

the saddest music video ever

Fainted this morning

I'm ok now, just need to learn to take better care of myself.  I didn't take enough iron pills recently and have also been eating less (little appetite and sleeping in).  Thank God I'm ok now and that my sister was there this morning when I fainted.

Struggling with being single

I still talk to Tommy over text sometimes.  Yesterday he was telling me that the way to grow is to be alone with oneself and one's faith.  I guess I agree.  I'm not really good with being alone though.  Today I'm going to a women's workshop at my school, hopefully I get some insights and learn to be happily single.
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People who are happily single that I admire:

-Pastor Fiona
-Arleen
-Regine
-Carolina

Breakups are never easy

Whenever I want to find closure, I usually write a letter that the person will never see.  So here we go...

Dear Tommy,

I miss you. I miss our companionship above everything else.  I want to be your friend now but it's hard.  I need to let go of you in my heart first. I don't know if I can ever really do that.  Part of me still wants to hold on.  I don't like Harold right now anyway.  It's you I want.  I don't know why I still want you even though you don't want me anymore.  But at least you are willing to be friends.  What kind of friends, I don't know, because after being so close and then breaking up I don't think I can be close friends with you anymore.  After all the fights, can we still understand each other? I don't know.  I wish you well and I hope you can find a great wife someday.  I guess I just have to accept the fact that we are not right for each other.  Take care, have a wonderful life.

Martine