Tips on how to help myself stay passionate about life with God

1) Stay thankful. Remember in some places churches have to meet in secret and the Bible is a treasure.

2)Remember the good times. Sometimes things can get discouraging, just look back at the good memories and that way I can look forward to making more memorable moments.

3)Stay organized. Taking things as they come is just another way of getting myself down. It's better to plan ahead and look forward to accomplishing things.

4) Stay in prayer and the Word. Without growing personally in the Lord, how can I lead others to grow?

5)Take some time to enjoy life. Do something for myself, do something that I like, remember to take care of myself.

6) Remember to put things into perspective. Life is not just about doing a job or going to school. The universe is huge and my God is in charge of it. I know the Prince of Peace personally and I have a relationship with the Almighty Creator. That is something I should stand in awe about! And I'm engaged to Jesus Christ :) how special :)

7) Listen to Christian music. It makes SUCH a difference when I have an inspiring soundtrack to life!

Saving this for my wedding, if I ever have one

LOVE OF MY LIFE (THE WEDDING SONG)
words by Darla Day, music by Mark Phillips
duet sung by Darla and Chad Day

I love you, the love of my life
I need you, our love is right
I've found the one that my soul loves
No other love means so much

I prayed to my God for a heart to keep
He gave me the one, He knew my needs
Over and over this love is sweet
I recognize the joy that makes our love complete
God gave you to me

You're the one I prayed for long ago
Fearless trust I never thought I'd know
I've found the answer to my dreams
My eyes were opened to love's mystery

I prayed to my God for a heart to keep
He gave me the one, He knew my needs
Over and over this love is sweet
I recognize the joy that makes our love complete
God gave you to me

The love of my life...

I love you, the love of my life
I need you, our love is right
I've found the one that my soul loves
No other heart gives so much
God gave you to me

You're the one I love
You are the love of my life

©2001 Darla Day / BMI /

Saying No is so hard

Pastor Lee wanted me to teach Sunday school from March to May for preteens and because of that I quit from volunteering for TC (teens conference) Coach. now I'm wondering if I did the right thing. After all, I did have a dream about volunteering for TC coach and at first I thought it was God telling me to volunteer. But because of the Sunday school thing I got scared and chickened out and decided not to volunteer.

Part of me thinks it's ok because I need to be careful of my health and not spreading myself too thin. But part of me wonders if I made a big mistake, if I was actually supposed to volunteer. I feel really bad because maybe some teens thought I was going to be their coach but now I have disappointed them.

Saying no is hard. It makes me feel guilty or confused. I wish I didn't have to teach Sunday school but no one else was available to do it. Now I have to miss English service to teach Sunday school and I'm planning to go to the Korean church for afternoon worship to supplement that.

I have two essays due but I'm still tutoring Peggy tomorrow at 3pm. I put her as a priority over my essays. It's hard to say no. I feel like I owe other people my help. That's how I feel. I feel like without me things might go wrong. That's really what my underlying belief is, I guess. Not trying to be prideful but it's just how my heart feels. I feel like I have to be there for everyone.

I feel really bad about saying that I will coach and then dropping out. I did it out of fear. I guess maybe I should have prayed more about it and asked God more before I quit but I was just really scared. My health was a major thing in my mind when I quit. I felt I had to save myself from stress.

At the same time, what's done is done and I can't reverse it anymore. Maybe later I will figure out that it was the right decision. Maybe not. But God is bigger than any problem and I'm sure He can provide another coach for the teens. But I still feel really bad.

Before, I was fearing that the stress would cause me to relapse bipolar. Now, I am afraid because I am afraid what if I was supposed to volunteer but I didn't so it would be going against God. But why is this fear paralyzing me? Shouldn't I be free in Christ? The Bible says that those who fear are not made perfect in Love. Maybe this means that I don't truly understand God's love for me? Cuz if I did, then I wouldn't be fearing now, would I?

Even knowing that God loves me no matter what, for some reason I am still paralyzed with fear right now and I keep on thinking "what if" i didn't say no, what if i could have volunteered at Teens Conference... my mind and heart is stuck! I'm currently wasting time that I could be working on my essay on thinking about this. I know I can only focus on so much at a time...

As I think more about this, I think about how Satan is the accuser. God isn't a type of God who would blame me for quitting TC coach. Even if He wanted me to do it originally I think He would forgive me if I quit. But Satan is the one who likes to blame, accuse, and make me fear. I guess I need to remember that In Christ I am free and I don't need to be tied up to anything.

Dear Person,

Talking to Aaron about this topic has been a bit of a reality check. I like you but I can't tell you. It's too early. And I don't know if it's God's will, because you don't even know what is God's will for your life direction yet anyways. I like a lot of things about you but I'm just starting to get to know you so I'll just be patient and not say anything. :) in the meantime, it's been great getting to know you and I hope we stay friends.

Martine

don't be afraid...

Imagine...

Imagine loving God so much that you don't even care what people think...
You just wanna praise Him, shout on the corner of the street to sing his praise...
Imagine being in front of the throne of God...
His love enveloping you like a wind...
caught up in his grace...



I'm praying for God's direction, particularly on...

-publishing of Christian Fellowship Handbook
-my service as a Teens conference coach
-my future husband, if there is one. And my engagement with Jesus.

My day.

Looks like posting twice a day has become a habit for me. Since I have less sleep and more time on my hands, I naturally love to write. My hobbies include writing, singing, dancing, and playing guitar. It's a shame that I barely spend time with hobbies these days.

Today after service we had a Children's volunteer meeting, which was great. Then afterwards I got driven to Fairview Mall (yay!) and there I walked around the mall in bare socks because my boots were killing me. (not the nail boots, the high heel boots that I stupidly chose to wear even with the two blisters)

I went into around 3 to 4 boot stores before I went to Browns (never in my life would i have imagined I would consider boots over 100 dollars!!!) And a little voice told me "try this boot" which was waterproof and looked pretty nice. It was 175 dollars but thank God Arabic Church had given me a gift card for Fairview Mall so with tax after the gift card I had to pay around 140 dollars... with boot spray and boot scrubber included.

HOPEFULLY these boots will last me a long time but I will trust the little voice, which I think was the Holy Spirit. :)

On another note, Whitney Houston passed away yesterday. I don't know her personally but I love her songs. (well i guess its obvious that i dont know her personally)

My favourite song of hers is probably "greatest love of all" except that it is theologically incorrect. The greatest love of all is NOT the love for oneself as she says, but the greatest love of all is God's love :) so if i perform that song one day I will have to change that part of the lyrics.

I'm looking forward to the Valentines friends dance party at church next Sunday. I'm thinking of getting a pedicure (for the first time!!) this Sat. to prepare for the dance... and I'm gonna have to decide whether or not to wear my Montreal dress or the black dress I wore for grad awards ceremony. :) hehe

Hopefully Thuy can come :) btw Thuy it's Sun. Feb. 19th (coincidentally on Andrew's birthday, haha screw him) at church (201 Tempo Ave.) at 6pm. But come at like 5pm if you can and we can hang out more! Yeah Thuy I know ur reading this :D I LOVE THUY! hehe yayyyyy and im gonna curl my hair if i have enough time :) yayyyyyy