My new favourite verse from the French Bible

‘’C’est d’elle que je suis devenu le serviteur, conformément à la charge que Dieu m’a confiée pour vous : annoncer pleinement la parole de Dieu, le mystère caché de tout temps et à toutes les générations, mais révélé maintenant à ses saints. En effet, Dieu a voulu leur faire connaître la glorieuse richesse de ce mystère parmi les non-Juifs, c’est-à-dire Christ en vous, l’espérance de la gloire.’’ Colossiens 1 :25-26

I love this song!!! and the video...

2 down, 1 to go

YUP! I finished my 2nd exam! One more to go, thank God I'm not too stressed... but I am pressed for time. So why am I on my blog right now? It's just too late in the night to study (almost 1am here) but I am also too energized today for some reason I just couldn't fall asleep.

This semester I might be having lower marks than usual but the important thing is if I tried my best. I think I'm trying my best, keeping in mind that my health was bad this semester and I had to take care of that, and also I was trying to work so hard at my jobs and be there for friends (whom I love very much). So overall I think I was trying my best. I will definitely try to cram as much as possible for my last exam.

There is a lot to be thankful for and happy about actually. :) There is too much to name right now. But Christmas is coming soon and I have almost 3 weeks of break, so that's for sure something to be thankful for. And I am thankful for a new job starting Jan. to replace my library job, it's a job that has less hours (only roughly 5 hours a week) so it should be better in terms of balancing my studies.

I still have a lot to do and look forward to next semester though. I was just analyzing my schedule mentally today and even though I took out my 15 hours a week library job for next semester, I am still adding on 3 different things: being on church softball team leadership (commitment of 1 meeting a month until May when we start 2 practices a week), being an A.A. (that's the new job of roughly 5 hours a week), and ... I think that was it actually... oh wait, more random volunteering with church ppl for the community.

I hope I can fit in everything properly and not be all rushed or frazzled. This Christmas I am not doing any Christmas shopping (I'm only going to write cards, not give gifts) cuz I need to save money and I want to save stress too. Christmas shopping for others can be very stressful and money-consuming.

:) :) :)

Philippians 4:6-7 (New International Version, ©2010)

⁶ Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ⁷ And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

---

How often do I forget that to protect my heart, I just need to pray it all out and thank God. Cuz being thankful makes me happier, truly happier, and the peace of God will protect my heart.

---

Thank You Jesus for my friends, for my family, for my salvation, for school, cuz others who are poor may not be able to afford it, thanks for my jobs, cuz many ppl don't have jobs. Thank you for this blog, thank you for the music, thank you for my LifeGroup, thank you for being there for me.

Stuff that won't make sense to you (only God knows)

Dear God,

It hurts so much right now. I have to get over 3 guys at once. I brought this trouble upon myself. I feel so down, I don't even want to do anything. I'm so sad, I have no one to talk to about this except you cuz basically it concerns you and me.

I don't feel like anything anymore. This medicine is not working out. I'm more bipolar than ever, just so that I can save myself from cervix cancer.

As much as I try to deny it, Sam Sham and Adrian Leung were very important to me. I can't just forget about them. I guess I don't want to. But I gave up these guys so that I could draw closer to you and your will, God. It hurts to deny my own desires and my self. Everything that made me happy, I gave it up.

I know you are teaching me to be satisfied in you only. It's harder than I thought. I am a very social person, and I gave my heart to like ten million guys already who were not able to give it back.

I know I'm supposed to wait until I get to the mission field , wait and see if there is a guy for me there, but right now I feel so down that I don't get support into the mission field. Virgin Mary must have felt a similar way, she was shunned by her family cuz she was pregnant without getting married, and Joseph was gonna divorce her. But she kept on believing in your will, and now she is an example to many women, and she in the end got support from Joseph as well.

It's hardest when you have to choose between your dreams and your idea of a "perfect guy". It's even harder to choose between what God thinks is best versus what you wanted.

And it's weird too when the perfect guy is actually not perfect after all.

I know exactly why You took Sam away from me, now. You took him away because he didn't lead me closer to You. He made me go farther away from You and sin more. That's why.

And I have to get over Jonathan cuz he's not the one either. I have to protect his heart by leaving words unsaid and distancing away from him. I knew it was the right thing to do after all. And Adrian, I gotta let him discover You on his own now, God please save him this Christmas.

I still remember so much it's like a flood of emotions and memories that disturb me day and night. I think I'm gonna fail my exams. Yesterday I barely got through half a chapter of Psych, it was so slow, even though I was pretty motivated. And today I'm so unmotivated, I can't even take care of myself.

I always tend to reach out to GUYS when I'm sad. Maybe I just don't want to burden my girlfriends about it cuz they might worry more or I hate to see their sympathetic faces cuz I don't want to be felt sorry for.

Sometimes I hate to face the truth. The real deep down core truth. I like to lie to myself and say I'm ok or that the situation is not that bad. But I guess it is bad and my pride is struck down as if by lightning.

I'm sad. I'm very very sad. That's the truth. I am a broken, sad, desperate person. I am not doing well in school. That's the truth. It's hard to focus on everything at once. I'm not supergirl. I wish I could be.

I am feeling a bit better I guess. Listening to Canadian tenors doesn't help cuz their music is too moving it makes me cry more.

Time for some happy music.

I teared up when we sang this song at church...

Another beautiful song...found on youtube...

Quotes I wanna remember...

Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don't resist them - that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.
Lao Tzu

Life flows like water. So if someone or something you love hurts you, cry a river, build a bridge, and get over it

Thanks to DB for these quotes.